Updated Date 2022, Sep 16

The emotional saltate of an topic on the partner who was cheated on can be earth shattering. Whether there was suspicion of this happening leading up to the discovery or not, it all leads to a spectrum of emotions including shock, anger, grief and loss. It can finger like the relationship has been dumped upside lanugo with the contents shaken all over the ground. But if both partners are unshut to the work of topic recovery, it’s possible and in many cases the relationship can come out the other side stronger than before.

The work to heal a relationship without this type of treachery is unique to each situation and dependent on how each person shows up to it. Is there remorse from the person who cheated? A sincere interest in healing the wounds caused by their behavior? A willingness to end the other relationship, if it has been ongoing? Are they willing to do anything to save their primary relationship? Just as important is the response of the partner who was impacted. What do they need to be worldly-wise to move on? Can they sooner forgive the partner who chose to be unfaithful?

The most important speciality of topic recovery for the betrayed partner is re-establishing emotional safety in the relationship.

When there is emotional safety present between a couple there is trust and a sense of knowing that they prioritize, respect, understand and love each other. There is ease and an intuitive knowing that they can be themselves. This is where real authenticity in relationships lives.

When there is a violate of trust either physically or emotionally in a single-minded relationship, emotional safety is severely compromised. The betrayed partner may finger like they are spinning in a vortex, untethered with the realization that what they thought they could rely upon or was theirs only was not. The dishonesty and often sneaky policies involved with unchaste partners remoter impacts the sacred space of emotional safety.

When a person finds out that his or her partner has strayed, feelings of betrayal, confusion, and zealotry may tint a painful shadow over everyday life.”

– Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW in article, Affair Recovery: 5 Steps to Repairing Your Relationship

When an topic has occurred and the couple would like to try heal and move forward, primary goal is to shore up the aspects of emotional safety that have been compromised, most importantly involving trust. But questions well-nigh whether their unchaste partner loves them anymore moreover understandably comes up.

  • Is the partner who cheated willing to stop the other relationship (if applicable)?
  • Is there a willingness to respond to the needs of the harmed partner to help the healing process?
  • Can patience in the process be maintained in order to work through the relationship harm?
  • Can the betrayed partner find a way to stay and maintain their own self respect?
  • Can the betrayed partner take the “leap of faith” required to rebuilt trust?

When the foundation of emotional safety has been compromised this needs to be undisputed and addressed. If a couple stands any endangerment or pushing through this work, they must re-establish this type of safety. It is the glue that keeps intimate relationships together in a truly meaningful way. It’s not easy but can be incredibly rewarding, expressly if the couple moreover manages to successfully navigate any of the issues leading to the affair. Though this type of exploration has a time and a place (not recommended until without there is a show of good faith, desire to repair and signs of progress).

Dr Richard Nicastro, PhD looks at the rencontre of maintaining trust and hope in the post-affair recovery process in the piece, The Emotional Crisis of an Topic and How to Heal. It looks at these two roadblocks as they can come up for both partners doing topic recovery therapy work.

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